the past few days have rushed by like a passing train, and i'm back to being a busy bee, buzzing my way around town. find myself in annoying situations where i really need to sort out my priorities and choose the most benificial way to spend my time. before i learn how to split myself in two, i'm going to have to settle with sacrificing certain things in order to have everything fall into place. having choices and making the right choices, i suppose thats just what its all about. very simple really. until you make the life-changing wrong one, that is. tho not saying that i have...at least i hope not.

 

i spent most part of the day in the national gallery today. it was our illustration teacher's idea for us all to wander around the art gallery and sketch the paintings. a break from our stuffy studio at college, i was quite excited about a change of environment and the idea of being in that kind of space, surrounded by age old masterpieces. i love illustration, although i've felt a bit stuck within my own style of drawing and have been unsatisfied with my work. this was really just what i needed, cuz as it turns out, not only was i lacking in drawing more freely, but on so many other levels as well. physically being in the national gallery today, sketching the figures within those oil paintings in quick sessions, it just made me feel a bit more like an artist again. the strange sensation of your hand working across the piece of paper, no visible links from source to eyes, through brain to fingers and onto the surface of the paper, its all happening subconsciously. i really miss this, not having to think about design. so tiring, being surrounded by consumerism. i really think that stupid training programe at H&M is taking an effect on me. i need to just focus on more observation and free drawings, and channel that kind of energy through to fashion design and illustration.

 

then there was the LCF BA graduation show this afternoon, i managed to talk my way out of another H&M training, all part of the masterful scheme of transforming us newbies into brilliant sales assistants. the show was very long. and have to be honest, not that eye catching. it was all good, and i really liked the menswear but nothing got me sitting at the edge of my seat gasping. but then maybe its just me. i had it all promptly recorded on camera, and reconized one of the models i met on london fashion week.

 

it's been a busy day, i went to the barbican center after a quick sandwich dinner at pret. feels like thats all i've been eating lately. anyways, the plan was to watch the oscar winning chinese documentary on orphaned children with AIDS in rural china. its called 'the blood in yingzhou district'. but as things strangely turned out, the main focus of the evening wasnt that short film at all...but the composer Gabriel Yared who did the music for it along with other famous movies like cold moutain, the talented mr. ripley and the english patient. so major change of subject, thougts of innocent suffering children in bad conditions swerve to the power and effects of composing music. i was thinking of the anhui volunteering scheme for this summer, then suddenly realized that i've never really understood music. strange. should we really try to make sense of every thought that swims by? i'm to easily influenced by movies. but visuals can be very powerful, partly why i'm so attracted to photography i suppose. everything is connected.